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by Arnold De Villa
January 1, 2011
“Be not afraid of changing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.”
— Chinese Proverb
We have a few days left before the pages of an old calendar are torn apart. Small kids will eagerly wait for their ½ birthday. Teen-agers would like to grow older for their driver’s license. Young adults think they are actually old. The middle aged person refrains from thinking of getting older while senior citizens will vehemently refuse to be addressed as old. The key word is old – be gone with it and welcome the new.
Yet, as time ebbs into its lengthy discourse, we gradually enter into a reflective mode, stepping back to see what we have done, what we should have not done, what we could do, and what we could aspire to do. For the days, the “cliché du jour” would be: “What is your New Year’s Resolution?” Some will want to lose weight. Some will want to quit smoking. Some will want to be better people. Some will say it is useless. Others will promise other things. Year after year, without being cynical, it seems like another cultural routine, hackneyed ritual of a skewed human behavior.
A Greek Philosopher once said that we could never cross the same river twice. Life is in a constant flux of change that any motion we see ceases to be from the moment we blink an eye. The river is never the same river from one bank to another because the water that flows is no longer the same water. In this age of technological information and cyber velocity, obsolescence is more like a more common platter and expectation. Change has been such a widespread mantra that even politicians have availed of its echoes.
I believe that resolutions are nothing else than the repetition of an old solution; hence the “re-solution”. We are creatures of habit and no matter how many New Year’s resolutions we claim to scream and confirm, the old ways will escape our subconscious and old resolutions will prevail. Year after year, after we reach that undefined plateau of maturity and saturated youth, comfort zones are preferred than the great unknown. Change will always be a painful reality thereby presenting a resolution as something more of a lip service than a real commitment. It is for this reason so many people whine and claim that resolutions are an old fool’s tale. In a way they are right. Saying the same thing without doing another will obviously end with the same results.
My son always tries to do things from a different perspective. In so doing, he goofs up and sometimes wastes time. Yet, through those mistakes, he learns the right way. On the other hand, as my own father taught me, I always tell my son to do what I have done because I feel certain that things will just turn out fine. I argue that experience is a better tool than the process of discovery. With it comes certainty and safety. Then my wife comes in telling us to stop arguing. After all, if both of us are right, then no one is wrong.
Old resolutions for a New Year: Where do we stand? To change or not to change. Is that the question? Probably not. Change is an inevitable reality. Like the rising and setting of the sun, change will happen. Whether we like it or not, nothing will ever be the same.
Change is both permanent and transitory. Since everything changes, and even change changes, then what we see is not what it seems and what seems is maybe what we don’t see. What we do not see is what we probably need. And what we always needed is something that we surely something we would not want to change. Life is indeed a complex reality, isn’t it?
After this circuitous roundabout, what is your New Year’s resolution? As for me, although my better half tells me to lose weight, it is more of a necessary pain I need to undergo for me to live longer. And since I already quit smoking many years ago, I cannot resolve not to do it again. How about working harder? Hmm, I think that is an obligation and not a resolution. What about submitting my articles on time? That is a good one. But what about accepting change? So, what about it?
This is where the rubber meets the road. Time is an irreversible process that does not come and go. It just goes. And where it goes we cannot follow. For if we do, life in this world will transform eternity and our cherished mortality will no longer be, something that most of us do not as yet desire to transpire.
On that last iota of 2010 we will be reminded of the abundant changes that passed beyond what we can recall. On that moment, we will tell ourselves all over that we will not do it again, (whatever that vice is). We will do better, (in whatever our insufficiencies are). We will work harder (to dispel us from whatever mediocrity there is). We will change (as if we were always the same). And then many will be inebriated until the oblivion comes back the following day.
Happy New Year, folks! As we resolve a new way of facing the old wrinkles of time, let us take a second look at that Chinese proverb. We can probably begin by first accepting change, the normative of growth, and the shadow of our daily light. In this acceptance, failure and frustration will greet us with a taunting smirk, torturing us in every path, and challenging us to quit. With a resolute determination, we will not quit in coming up with a new resolution, no matter how many times we say it, no matter how many times we try. The change will happen when we quit in committing such resolutions as a lip service and start incarnating our promises into a real live dimension. It is in this value that we can truly acknowledge change, the reminder that bad things will not be permanent and good things are just around the corner. The promise of a better tomorrow will then become more tangible. The spilled milk of the past will now just be a scab. Hope will cease from being an apparent a cliché. Positive results will be more visible.
Enjoy your New Year’s Day party! While you eat, drink and cheer, celebrate the year that is to come, a moment filled with second chances.