Notes from a Curious Bystander (Part III ) Filipino Friendship Society: Bolingbrook, Illinois

by Arnold De Villa
October 16, 2012
Somewhere in Du Page County, friends gather across time and through various generations because they share so many things in common. Culture, profession, birthplace, racial history and culinary propensities are just some of these things that bind them together. I did talk to one of their former Presidents more than a year ago and she told me the stories of how they started and continued from parents to children handed down to their grandchildren.
Recently, the Mayor of Bolingbrook, Mayor Roger Claar, joined them to declare the month of October as Filipino American History Month. Indeed, the Filipino Friendship Society of Bolingbrook is a worthy venue to recognize the special value given to the month of October. In fact, on October 20th, if you happen to be around the vicinity of the Living Water Community Church, somewhere around 10:00 in the morning, drop by and share with the celebration. There is so much to learn and know about the history of Filipinos in this corner of the world. Be surprised. Try not to miss it.
What does it mean to have a Filipino friend? What is friendship among Filipinos? To begin with, if you are a non-Filipino, learn this word: “pakikisama”. And for those among us, who are Filipinos, reflect upon it. I am sure that there are tales, stories, fables and myriad anecdotes that cross our minds right now. Like other races, we count the years of friendship. We honor, recall, cherish and take pride in knowing people across ages and generations of time. We delight in knowing that they are still around and feel the pain for those who have gone. Once in a while, when life allows, we take the luxury of getting together, for any reason, just so to have the warmth of that familiar smile once more before old age takes over and memories disappear.
Pakikisama is that special fellowship, the bond with a vested benefit treated like a special privilege. For Filipinos, it is sometimes used as a gauge in the selection of loyalty. It is also a measurement of perseverance and consistency. Pakikisama could also be an expectation of certain concessions, a condition whereby someone is expected as unable to refuse an offer, merely because of the fact that the proposition comes from a friend. Among Filipinos, it could also be a value that imposes a certain burden on another because it assumes an undeclared responsibility to concede, especially on election days or when something is bought or sold.
Overall, Pakikisama is the beauty of friendship that extends beyond mere acquaintance. It is a principal binding force beneath the concept of the kapit-bahay (neighbor). And it is because of Pakikisama that the Filipino Friendship Society has endured from one generation to another.
So what can friends do? Go to their webpage at www.filipinofriendshipsociety.blogspot.com. Their current President is a very good friend. I can attest to the veracity of his leadership. I personally know many of their officers although some of them may not know who I am. And I am writing this because I personally believe that they should have a better and wider recognition than through their own members.
Since I have never been in any of their meetings, I am still a curious bystander, wondering and contemplating about repercussions and ramifications of such an organization. So far, they are the only group who publicly adopts the values of friendship as their raison d’etre. Thirty-seven years of geographical existence is not a shabby credential to prove the credibility of an organization. And even if friendship were the only ideal that binds them together, it is an ideal that would surely last longer than ideologies or movements.
So what could happen if there were a Filipino Friendship Society somewhere else besides Bolingbrook? What if the Bolingbrook members took an adventure and went to other Counties, shared their organizational skills and organized individuals as groups that could be bound through friendship? Is there a need to do so? Or is that need already met? Let me ask them and I hope they can answer back.
The main objective of the Filipino Friendship Society is to participate in the civic and social programs of the community for a deeper appreciation of the Filipino heritage. I am all for this. Our biological composition will always be affected by our cultural profile in as much as our social affinities will always be influenced by our genetic culture. Although most of the members of this organization are already US citizens, Filipinos will always reflect the Filipino culture, in one way or another, no matter what citizenship they profess. It is something we cannot deny and it is something we should never deny.
I am not from Bolingbrook. If I were, I would surely find time to be a part of my own neighborhood. For the Filipinos who are around that area, especially those who have recently arrived and are still nostalgic of what they left, give yourself a break, find out more about this group, share your time with them and be rewarded with their friendship. When you have done so, spread the word around.
As for myself, as a curious bystander, I am still scouting on the internet in search of groups I do not know. By the way, general election day is around the corner. If by chance you are aware of any Filipino group involved with the civic duty to vote and who are active in the democratic process, let me know. They deserve a chance to have a space. Send an email to arnoldjr2@gmail.com. And I will see what I can do.
This is it folks. There are dried leaves gathered in my front yard. Autumn has somewhat hampered my creative juices. The only way I could keep them running is when I run myself. Raking dried leaves is a good warm up to start with. We are at the last quarter of the year. Where did time go? I am so glad you are you still there. See you later.