Usap-Usapan, Kuwentuhan at Iba Pa

by Arnold De Villa
December 1, 2011
Getting together over anything is one of the cherished traditions of Filipinos especially during the Christmas Season and New Year’s Eve. It is that time of year when we tend to ignore the extra serving of sodium or the additional bowl of fat that adds inches to our waistline in the company of family and friends. The more we talk, the more we eat. Perhaps, we eat that much so as to be quiet while we listen to others speak. Otherwise, our penchant for stereophonic and simultaneous conversation could drown any place where Filipinos gather and reduce any room into a concentrated atmosphere of sheer noise. We do love to talk, don’t we?
We not only ask the others “how are you?” We also ask that other how others are doing. Either a true concern, a curious attitude or utter nosiness, the question of “how is….?” is not easy to decipher. For the recipient of the question, whether or not he/she responds, and depending upon his/her cultural exposure, the ability, knowledge or the willingness to answer back somewhat entails a slight feeling of discomfort. The moment we talk about others, particularly about other people’s business, especially about some people’s not so positive life situation, we may indulge in gossip – possibly vicious and/or malicious. This is not what “usap-usapan” would imply, propagate or insinuate.
On the 18th of this month, the Alliance of Filipinos for Immigrant Rights and Empowerment (AFIRE) has organized a town hall meeting, free of charge for anyone willing to go. They will not talk about other people’s lives (chismes). They will rather reflect on the year that was: the pain and angst of a dismal economy, the wars and protests, people who lost their homes and jobs, toppled rulers, and ruling masses. They will try to make the most from the shrapnel of a painful year, celebrating the coming of a new year and recollecting the true sense of Christmas. All that bundled with the warmth of being with people who share the same history and cultural perspectives.
What is happening to the world? It looks as if we are at the downward slope of a cycle descending from a peak. Politicians wanting to gain office will either promise to escape from its doldrums or frighten us with its current mask. Those who are in office will focus on the upside, leading us to think that what we see is a lower slope from an ascending scale. “Tea Partiers” will have a replay of their conservative protests while “Occupiers of Wall street” will do the same from the liberal front.
Talk is cheap. It is actually free. All we have to do is to break away from our monologue, look for a gathering and get acquainted with another soul who might be willing to talk and listen. The benefits of a productive conversation far outweigh the risk of not hearing what we desire to listen. It is possible that no conclusions could be reached. It is probable that no cohesive vision could be formed. It may be that stories are the only things that we could trade. And it is likely that we talk because we need someone to listen. Despite all these, perhaps because of all these, the reality of being beside another human being, another creature who shares with our plight, someone who knows the taste of our tears and is acquainted with the crackles of our laughter, is a very consoling thought. It alleviates the pangs of human solitude and straightens the creases of our own travails.
I wish I could be in that gathering. I really do. Since I know first-hand what it means to be a negative repercussion of this current economy, I have to earn a living, to the point of deferring the small pleasures of living. In the health care industry, it is when others rest that we work the most. I do love talking, either verbal or written. It is through the word that the fibers of our lives entwine in the greater quilt of human endeavor. It is because of the word that we evolve as social beings. When we speak and listen, we enter into an enhanced form of existence, we become, and then we hold the hands of our humanity through the eyes of another.
Collective reflection is a needed tool for a better individual contemplation. It is when we listen to others that we validate and reaffirm the values of our thoughts. Although opinion will vary and the nuances of our mental thoughts will always be as diverse as the stars in the constellation, there will be some aspirations and concerns that intersect across the nexus of our commonalities. Despite our differences, there are things we share in common. Despite the space that separates, there are links that connect. And those connections are mostly found through an organized mode of collective discussion.
Two more weeks and we will be flooded with get-togethers for the sake of the season. If it not too much, I would dare that we try to find out if there is anyone out there who might be alone without anyone to share the season with. I think it was two years ago that we found someone that fit this profile. Although his personality was not that perfect, it was through an AFIRE get together that a solitary individual found the right people to share the Christmas spirit with. A couple of days after, far beyond the expectations of anyone, this person quietly passed away and died from cardiac failure. No one knew that the very short connection he had with this group would mark the last days of his life. Like him, there are so many out there who are alone, not by choice but by accident. I think they need our “usap-usapan and kuwentuhan” more than anyone else.
So what is there to talk about? Listen. It is the first rule of a good speech. Understand. It is the portal to reach out. Reach out. It is the bridge to listen well. Another year is almost there. We are still here. Between here and there, we have a life to live. Within that life are so many words waiting to be expressed. Through those expressions we grow, and hopefully we become better persons. More than being better persons, we probably would be excellent human beings. And in that excellence, we then can perhaps fill up the painful holes of human misery with something that can console.
Merry Christmas to each and every one of you! May the blessings of Christ’s birth bestow the blessings of life! Whether you believe or not, blessings will never hurt.