ShareThis
May 27, 2010 By Nelia Dingcong Bernabe
Remember those times when see ing a seesaw in the park brings out the child in us? Or the times when as children, the sight of one sends us into a euphoric state of mind; all we wanted to do was hop on it, forcibly swing our legs up and down to gain optimum speed and off the ground we went. With guiltless pleasure, we screamed our happiness in total abandon.
But things are different now. We’re older and most of the time, our vision of things that are carved out from our childhood tends to be a little skewed. So I wasn’t really surprised when it threw me off guard to think of the seesaw in the same context – a long plank anchored in the middle by a fixed support – but in a totally different light.
Life as we oftentimes describe it has its ups and downs, just like that seesaw in the park. The metaphor may be trite but it’s the best way to describe how I feel right now. The one stark difference is the guiltless pleasure is gone and in its place is sadness.
A few days ago, I was in a state of bliss as I got caught in the crazy hysteria called the American Idol brought about by its frontrunner – the biggest buzz of the town this side of Illinois, Lee DeWyze. How can I not? Lee’s story is the modern day’s version of a fairy tale and he is from the school district where I work.
Pride oozes out of every single person in our building and rightly so. Even better, a friend took a picture of me shaking his hand when he came back to visit his old stomping ground, the alternative school that he attended after leavingPride oozes out of every single person in our building and rightly so. Even better, a friend took a picture of me shaking his hand when he came back to visit his old stomping ground, the alternative school that he attended after leaving
Short of being a groupie, I never had this much excitement since my Donny Osmond and David Cassidy days. If you think back and do the math, that’s a good number of years. It doesn’t end there. Last Friday must have been my lucky day for I also scored free tickets to Lee’s concert in Arlington Park that evening courtesy of a good friend of mine at work who can’t go. My husband went begrudgingly with me and as luck would have it, we survived the crowd of over 41,000 people and managed to get out of the parking lot unscathed.
Speaking of luck, mine just blossomed. I went to a meeting for my job after the Lee mania happened and this time I get to listen to the father of Glee’s writer. A little side note. If you haven’t heard of Glee, then I’d like to personally welcome you from hibernation and allow me to introduce you to the biggest thing on TV right now. Remember the name of the show — Glee.
Anyway, so I sat in our meeting and proud Glee dad started telling stories of his trip to Los Angeles with his wife when they visited their son during “The Golden Globes” earlier this year. He brought pictures and told wonderful stories about his son, the cast and the set.
As a mother of somebody who is trying to break into the entertainment world in Hollywood, I felt like being in the front seat of two inspiring occasions was a huge blessing as well as a great cause for elation. For days I was on the proverbial Cloud 9 after hearing and watching their amazing stories unfold right before my eyes.
But like that seesaw in the park, what goes up must come down. Life these past few days is a series of seesaw-y rides. From the highs that I felt after hearing and watching Lee and listening to the Glee writer’s dad and looking at all the pictures that he brought to our meeting, my highs turned into the lowest of lows when I heard of the tragic news that befell our old friends.
If you live in Chicago and the nearby suburbs, you have probably heard of the 8-year-old boy who fell into the North Branch of the Chicago River last Sunday. His name is Cashmere Castillo and as of this writing, divers have not been able to find his body.
Last Monday, I received a call from a good friend of ours informing me of the tragic news. It turns out that Cashmere is the grandson and son of our former coworkers. For over 15 years, my husband and I worked with Cashmere’s grandmother and our lives became entwined by the many milestones we shared together. One of those was hearing wonderful stories about her two grandsons.
The pain of the Castillo family is unfathomable. When I heard this sad news, I could not help but feel like a seesaw that has gotten out of control. It was only a few days ago when I was extremely ecstatic over such things like American Idol and Glee and now extreme sadness has taken over.
Life has dealt Zenaida and Willie Castillo and his wife this really hard blow. I am not going to even try to attempt to put their pain on a tight lid for there is simply no way to assuage this kind of pain. As a parent myself, how do you even begin to understand the depth of their loss? You can’t for there are no words to describe it.
As I take a much-needed pause and pray for the Castillos to find their peace and have strength, my mind takes me to a park where a seesaw sits motionless. Like life, it sometimes could carry you through some quiet times. But for the most part, we live our lives trying to survive the ups and downs that life brings. It’s a cruel dichotomy but one that is inherent among us by virtue of our being here on borrowed time.
In my attempt to make sense of what happened to Cashmere, I pray that Zenaida, Willie, his wife Merrell, and their older son Christian will find closure. Distance may have driven a wedge between us but I treasure the time we shared for so many years. My husband and I take comfort in seeing the overflow of support that you’re getting from friends and strangers alike in your time of extreme sorrow. In due time, the love and support of everyone who has rallied around you will become the one force that will get that seesaw moving again in one direction – up! Our love and prayers are with you.