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by Carmelita Cochingco Ballesteros.
November 21, 2010
“Why are you so afraid, you of little faith?” (Matthew 8:26) Jesus was asleep in a boat with his disciples. Suddenly, a storm surged from nowhere; big waves threatened to swallow up the boat, and the disciples were terrified. In a panic, they woke up Jesus and begged Him to save them.
Of course, Jesus told off the storm to be quiet, then told off his disciples for having little faith. He probably went back to sleep while the disciples pondered what kind of man He was.
Although the disciples had not yet quite grasped the truth that Jesus is God, I think they knew intuitively that Jesus had the power to save them from a sinking boat in a stormy sea. No matter how little their faith was, it was enough to save them.
What has this boat trip got to do with preparing for Christmas?
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To prepare for the celebration of Jesus Christ’s birthday on December 25, the Lectors Ministry of St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Singapore held a recollection on November 14, 2010. It was facilitated by a guest Jesuit priest, Fr. Colin Tan, SJ.
I belong to the ministry and I attended this recollection last Sunday. Let me share with you one segment of the recollection.
Using the Lectio Divina method, Fr. Colin told us to read Matthew 8: 23-27, meditate on any phrase from the reading, pray, then listen. Afterwards, we all shared our insights.
“Jesus calms the storm.” This is the title of Matthew 8: 23-27.
There are storms in our life. There are typhoons, tornados, earthquakes, and tsunamis. Sometimes, the storms are not literal natural disasters, but upheavals and challenges caused by disease, family problems, employment issues, addictive behavior, and the like.
I shared with my fellow lectors that my family and I have just had a profound faith experience which has strengthened and deepened our faith in the Holy Trinity through Mary, Mother of Christ.
My daughter-in-law, Ezra, was diagnosed with an aggressive type of cancer last May. She went through the route recommended by mainstream medicine: surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. In other words, cut, burn, and poison.
But she almost succumbed to the treatment that was worse than the disease. So the oncologists suspended the combined radiation and chemo treatment.
That was when my son and his wife decided to “walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7) It was their last resort.
Ezra’s frightening ‘boat trip’ to the depths of the sea happened on July 18. Just like the disciples in the original boat trip, Ezra was snatched from death when she and my son and their little children begged Jesus to save them.
The oncologists’ advice was that Ezra should resume her radio/chemo treatment as soon as she was well enough. Huh? If I were the patient, I would have told those medical experts, “You’ve got to be kidding! You almost killed me, and you want me to come back for more of the same inhuman torture and punishment!”
My son, his wife, and their young children had a different plan. They opted for food therapy and prayed the rosary every day, asking for Mother Mary’s intercession for Ezra’s complete healing. They went to as many healing masses as they could manage and they went to miraculous shrines in the Philippines, the Shrine of Our Lady of Manaoag in Pangasinan, in particular.
After two months, Ezra was declared cancer-free by her oncologists. It was a miraculous healing. We were overjoyed, we celebrated, then we went back to our old routine dominated by work, work, work.
And so we put faith away in a cupboard, together with the delicate and expensive dinnerware.
But the calm does not remain so for long. New challenges rear their ugly heads, and we get overwhelmed and terrified all over again like the disciples were in the boat with Jesus. It seems as if we haven’t been through a storm before, as if we haven’t learned a few lessons at all.
As imperfect human beings, I think our knee-jerk reaction to whatever challenges we face is fear, panic, anger, denial, grief, wounded pride, self-pity, etc. Recently, I almost got entangled in a work-related tempest till I realized that I could take faith out of the cupboard, that there could be peace, and that peace must begin with me. So I backed off from the looming battle, and the other party backed off, too. The tempest fizzled out.
Meditating and praying on the Bible passage about Jesus calming the storm during the recollection, I realized that my family and I had been in a ‘sinking boat’ that was being battered by huge waves in a stormy sea. We were saved by our faith. But it was our last resort. What if we made faith our FIRST resort?
What if I prayed for my colleagues and students? What if I prayed for people I don’t like? What if I expanded the boundaries of my prayers? What if I prayed vigilantly, consistently, and fervently?
What if I keep faith as my constant companion? What if I become proactive with my prayers, instead of reactive? What if I make my prayers inclusive, borderless, and extravagantly generous? What if I shared my faith by actually reaching out to other people through little acts of kindness?
The disciples in the boat with Jesus had little faith but it was enough to save them. In preparation for Christmas, let’s put on top of our gifts list this prayer, “Lord, increase our faith. Let it be our FIRST resort.”