ShareThis
Sept 24, 2010
“We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn’t. Success often lies just at the other side of failure.”
–Dr. Leo Buscaglia (Author and Professor)
Show me a person who claims he has never failed and I will show you someone who does not have a complete grasp of what it means to succeed. In reality, an arrogant braggart who truly makes it in life and denies having ever failed does so because he has not perceived failure as failure. In his world, he never did. Mistakes that decelerate his speed for success are for him but a sheer form of deviation, a simple unwanted detour. His only failure, that is, if he even admits it, would be a failure to completely realize that the true nature of human success is existentially established upon our innate imperfection, our inherent failure. But then again, how would he know?
So how do we successfully fail? It seems like a foolish invitation for disaster. Who wants to fail? Who wants to be reminded of our shortcomings, our downfalls and our weaknesses? Why in the world would we even spend time reminiscing on our past inabilities and the bitterness of not being able to achieve or to possess? And the worst thing is, could this be nothing else than a subconscious attempt to attach a sour grape on the plain fact that there are so many things in life that we are not designed to do, to have or to become?
There is no success in failure in as much as failure no longer exists among those who have already succeeded. This is a plain fact. It is an indisputable reality. The attempt to find ways on how to successfully fail is merely an expression of our chaotic desire to gaze towards the horizons of excellence and perfection. It is a wish to understand the dimensions of an elusive set of points that we can only see as far as our sights would allow, but which we could actually never reach. From the origins of sight to the end point of vision, we are immersed in a human adventure fraught with the pangs of endless mistakes, the gall of our daily insufficiency, and the wounds of not achieving what we think we deserve. From them, we either learn to plunge into a despotic condition of fatal depression or rise up to the realms of human possibilities. The wonderful gift of freedom comes with an array of choices, options, and lovely deliberations, where every fork on the road is a new odyssey of unexpected thrills, where every dale and valley is a peak and trough of exciting moments. Failure is the pain we cry over every time we stumble. Success is the reason that reminds us of who we are, bipeds who walk upright with two feet. Failure is that moment when we know we own nothing. Success is when we realize that we owe nothing. Failure is when our limitations remind us of our frailty. Success is when that frailty reminds failure that tears are not forever. Failure is when we confront the consequence of our wrong decisions. Success is when we gain the strength to embrace the consequence of those wrong decisions until an excruciating pain hits us with enough endurance to persist despite the odds of failure. And as a sage once said, human life is not a life lived without having failed at all.
So what does it really mean to successfully fail? Why would we do it and how would we do it? Answering the last question first, we don’t. Answering the first question last, we can’t. Our minds are like a computer. What comes in is what goes out. What we cannot comprehend will be left untouched or detached. And in that point of not understanding, we receive a jolt of reflection, that necessary element of excitement, an exhilarating “aha” sensation of human comprehension, the attitude that accepts without defeat and without despair that for us to strive for excellence, we have to accept the counterpoint of our frailty, the innate ability to fail. Hence, light is light because we come from the darkness of our mother’s womb. Life is life because we were once non existing. Success is success because our flesh was conceived in so many biological cycles of failure. This is the marvelous counterpoint of human reality. This is the magic of our human frailty. This is the unspoken manual on how to successfully fail.
Would you be where you are right now if you had not gone through where you have passed before? Would you know what you know now if you have not known sometime back that what you knew at that time was wrong? Would you be doing what you are doing now if you have done or failed to do what you have been doing before? And the litany of inquisitive alliterations goes on because our mind is an implacable machine. It will only stop upon the complete consumption of the last molecule of oxygen in our neurons. And then it will rest.
The school year is now in full swing. Quizzes, homework and exams will plague our calendars with dreaded grades and confusing test questions. In one of those processes, someone will remind us that we failed. Someone close to us will lovingly nag us to death just so we could appreciate the reality of life. Someone who is near will mercilessly doubt on what we are able to do. Someone unexpected will tear our hearts even with a sincere intent to help. If Peter denied Christ three times and Christ is God, how much more can our mortal partners or friends or families be able to trample upon our frailty?
And then, out of the blue, the phoenix rises up and sings the hymns of resurrection. Yes, we failed. Christ Himself stumbled while He carried the yoke of creation behind His back. Atlas was sculpted with a globe on his shoulders. We exist with the burden of our petty failures, the unwanted product of our wrong decisions. And then the unseen miracle takes place. We rise once more. We rise up with the shoulders around us, the outstretched hand, and the crutch of a friend. Most of all, we rise up with the undefined grace that provides us with the energy to live beyond existence.
And this is how we successfully fail. This is how is we are enmeshed in the confusing world of words that describe our complex life. How do we do it? We don’t. Part of it is already there. We exist. Part of it is still becoming. We grow. Dare to live. Prepare to fail. And when all else is said and done, wait to succeed. It will surely come.